Dvar Torah - Vayechi 5785

At the end of Sefer Beraishis, Yaakov offers his final words to each of his children, reflecting on their characteristics and their future.. Regarding Shimon and Levi, Yaakov states (Beraishis 49:7): “Accursed is their rage, for it is intense, and their wrath for it is harsh; I will separate them within Yaakov, and I will disperse them in Israel”. Rashi points out that even though Yaakov rebuked his two sons, he was careful to only curse “their rage” but not curse the sons. Hirsch makes the same point. However, at first glance this distinction seems like mere semantics. Does it really matter if Yaakov cursed Shimon and Levi or cursed their rage? Either way, Yaakov expressed his disapproval of their impetuous behavior and that they were unfit to be the leaders of his people. Why did Rashi and Hirsch specify that Yaakov did not curse the two brothers?

Perhaps we can understand the answer to this question from this story in the Talmud:

There were these hooligans in Rabbi Meir’s neighborhood who caused him a great deal of anguish. Rabbi Meir prayed that they should die. Rabbi Meir’s wife, Beruria, said to him: What is your thinking? On what basis do you pray for the death of these hooligans? Do you base yourself on the verse: “Let sins cease from the land” (Psalms 104:35), [which you interpret to mean that the world would be better if the wicked were destroyed]? But is it written, “let sinners cease?” “Let sins cease”, is written. (Berachos 10a).

Rabbi Meir’s wife, Beruria, made the same distinction as Yaakov on our pasuk, differentiating between the individuals and their sins. She directed her husband not to pray for their deaths, but instead to pray for them to stop their negative behavior. Beruria recognized that although a sin is bad, a sin does not of itself make a person bad. People are multifaceted and possess the potential for transformation. That is in fact what happened. The Talmud continues:

[Beruria said:] Further, look at the end of the verse: “and let the wicked men be no more.” Since the sins will cease, there will be no more wicked men! Rather pray for them that they should repent, and there will be no more wicked. He [Rabbi Meir] did pray for them, and they repented.

Beruria understood that we need to be careful how we think about people. Instead of characterizing a person by one’s actions, one must differentiate between a person and his or her actions, whether they are good or bad. We should never say that a person is “dumb” or “careless” or “bad” or the like. Instead, we can say that their actions are dumb, careless, bad, etc. However, we should never confuse a person with his or her actions. As a new teacher, I was instructed to never characterize a person with a negative. Students always feel more receptive to learning if the teacher expresses a positive attitude about them, and limits speaking negatively to discussions of their actions. Conversely, if a teacher tells a student that he or she is “slow” or “lazy”, then the student will begin to think of himself or herself  as “slow” or “lazy”. The same applies to any person, especially children and others that we are close to.

The Torah and the Talmud are very careful about language. Yaakov understood that although Shimon and Levi’s rage was unacceptable, his sons were still great people and would play crucial roles in the future of the Jewish people. The story with Rabbi Meir and his wife Beruria emphasizes that people are not immutable – they can change their actions from bad to good. We should train ourselves to always use language that recognizes the potential in each human being and not to confuse a person’s actions with their nature. In that merit we should have much nachas in the growth and achievements of our loved ones, and Hashem should help us bring an end to all evil in the world.